I just want....

This....

Or even lots of these....
And I even want this....I'll probably regret saying all that someday.... I hope I do.

We have been trying to get pregnant since our first traumatic attempt last summer. I’ve been working with a gynecologist specialist at the Student Health Center, who has taken great care of me. After the many ups and downs of not ovulating/clomid/low progesterone treatments, etc…. I VERY unexpectedly got a positive pregnancy test on Monday. WOW – we were shocked to say the least!

So, we are pregnant! We have been blessed, and many prayers have been answered. We are a little doubtful this will be a successful pregnancy. I wish I could say we are very hopeful, but unfortunately the events so far are almost like re-living our previous nightmare.

My first pregnancy was a very strange one – the docs/nurses are still puzzled. I was treated for an Ectopic Pregnancy with Methotrexate. 3 weeks later I began bleeding (sorry for too much info?) and we found out I had a uterine pregnancy as well – I miscarried that. So… twins? Which would make it a heterotopic pregnancy ß super rare. My Hormone levels (HCG) were pretty high – at 4 wks 5 days it was 2060, definitely high enough to see something in the uterus – but the ultrasound showed nothing.

From that experience, my pregnancies are here on out – high risk for another ectopic. I got lab work taken on Monday – found out Tuesday the HCG level was 106. This is extremely low, considering I should have been about 5 wks pregnant. I got more labs yesterday – found out today the HCG level was 147, it should have doubled over those 48 hrs, and be above 200 in order for this to be a “normal” pregnancy. I asked the nurse if she thought this could still be a successful pregnancy and she said “I really don’t think so”.

Because I have had cramps/aches since Monday – we did an ultrasound this morning to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. With a HCG level that low, we didn’t really expect to see anything. And we didn’t. But we should have been able to see at least some tissue build up, to show that my body was beginning the transition. Really, the ultrasound was quite unremarkable except for a cyst-like mass was found on the left ovary. This could be an ovarian cyst – one they will want to follow up on and possibly remove – OR it could be an ectopic pregnancy.

Because the HCG level is so low an ectopic pregnancy isn’t that serious yet. But I’ll do more labs tomorrow, and have a doctor appointment Tuesday. Because the hormone level didn’t double as it should, it will most likely be a sad result. But we will keep praying and hope for the best.

We keep counting our blessings. We have amazing friends and family that support us so much! And I can get to be quite the nut case and am impatient during these times. We feel at peace, and content that we’ll make it through whatever happens. Because we’ve gone through this before, and haven’t had luck for a while, we try to not get our hopes up. I’m still trying to work on my patience skills – I can’t stand the “waiting game”. I have learned A LOT about fertility/conception, etc. . . And I know Seth and l will appreciate a successful pregnancy and our children more, having gone through these losses and trials to get them here on earth.

For those who read our blog, I know you care about us. I like that I feel comfortable sharing the personal details of our lives on our blog. I understand some people think such personal details should not be shared in such public places, and I’m sorry if we have offended you. This is all therapeutic and helpful for me!! Thanks for your friendship and support! We’ll keep you posted – on hopefully good news.